Let’s cut to the chase here; it is scary going out with friends, let alone going out ALONE! I understand, as someone who has always suffered from social anxiety, it’s a scary thing. The thought of sitting alone in a restaurant haunted me back then, and I would have never considered it. Throughout my self-love journey and discovery to finding myself, here are my top 3 tips on HOW TO FIGHT THE ANXIETY of self-love dates and the IMPORTANCE of going on them.
TIP #1: CONFIDENCE
One thing you must learn is you do not have to rely on anyone for your happiness. When you date yourself, you rely on yourself for happiness, and let’s be honest: only you can make yourself happy. Doing things on your own becomes easier once you learn how to date yourself. Get comfortable going out to eat alone, and your confidence will skyrocket; get excited about going on a solo hike, and your self-esteem will soar. When you date yourself, no matter what activities you choose, you’ll fall into a new, fearless pattern of certainty. The unknown is what causes our anxiety to spike up! You must learn to be okay with feeling uncomfortable sometimes; otherwise, how will you grow? I also want to add anywhere you decide to go, always remember to stay safe and tell a loved one where you will be, and bring a self-defense tool just in case!
TIP #2: SELF LOVE
Being alone gives you time to self-reflect; you don’t have a buddy there right next to you to ask you questions or talk to you. You are forced (in a good way) to think about your thoughts.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, it is never too late to practice self-love and to build a healthy relationship with yourself! One way to do so is by dating yourself, spending time getting to know who you are allows you to see your strengths, weaknesses, ‘flaws,’ or values, and figuring out things that make you happy.
You should treat yourself as you would a romantic partner. So, pamper yourself, pay attention to yourself, and put in the same effort as if you were going out with someone else. All of these activities will teach you how you deserve to be treated and how to love and value yourself.
TIP #3: PERSONAL GROWTH/ INDEPENDENCE
One advantage of learning how to date yourself is that it promotes personal development. By dating yourself, you learn more about yourself and become more confident and self-sufficient. You learn how to step outside of your comfort zone and take control of your life and decisions.
Due to concerns about what others might think, taking yourself out on dates and sitting at that restaurant or club alone will be frightening in the early stages of dating yourself. However, as you become accustomed to it, you will realize that most people don’t even notice that you are alone. As you gain confidence in approaching people and situations on your own, you may make new friends and try things you would never try if you were with someone.
It will be a lonely and sad life if you never go to places you want to go because you don’t have anyone to accompany you or pay your bills.
MY FINAL THOUGHTS FOR YOU
Going on dates by yourself may be scary at first, but once you get past the scary part, it is only up from there. Not only does this benefit you in many ways, but it is also exciting and fun! You truly never know who you will meet; you can’t expect to meet new people if you are confined to your home. You must take action to put yourself out there and learn to never wait up for anyone. If no one wants to go with you to the mall or if everyone you asked is busy, you better not change plans! Time to go by yourself! You are independent and worthy. This is a very positive step toward your self-love journey.
BONUS:
Here is a list of some of my favorite activities to do when I go on my SOLO DATES!
- Take yourself out on dates to your favorite restaurants and experiment with different dishes and drinks.
- Attend an event on your own.
- Take a trip to the movies or watch one from the comfort of your own home.
- Purchase some romantic gifts and flowers for yourself.
- Pamper yourself by having an at-home spa night, taking a bubble bath, lighting some scented candles, and using essential oils.
- Take a picnic outside to enjoy nature, hike, bike, or become a tourist in your own town.
- Make your favorite dish, pour some wine, set a table for yourself, and dine by candlelight.
- Attempt to catch a glimpse of the sunset.