How compassionate are you to yourself? Are you competitive and hold high standards? Or are you self-deprecating and judgmental?
Too harshly judging yourself can take the power out of self-reflection. Self-reflection is a healthy way to examine your standards and your status to ensure they are aligned. When we judge, we turn constructive criticism into self-abuse.
How can you be sure that your self-criticism is constructive? Let’s compare these ideas and see where you stand.
Examples of Criticism That is Constructive:
Accepts flaws while adoring oneself Admitting faults allows for growth and change: Recognizing that you aren’t where you want to be and refusing to judge yourself for it opens the door to change. Whatever is required to effect change is a fact; how you think about it is an emotion. They are not the same thing.
Losing weight is an example.
Fact: This entails calorie restriction and exercise.
Falsehood: You are a terrible person with no self-control, which is why you are overweight.
Is humble: Admitting that you need to change takes courage. Our egos get in the way, and negative self-talk can keep pride at the forefront of our minds. Constructive criticism allows for honesty in a safe environment while not blaming or shaming.
Wants you to succeed: Constructive criticism is intended to change things, and the goal is to assist you in identifying what isn’t working and finding a solution. Your success is dependent on constructive criticism.
Examples of Types of Judgments:
Is founded on shame: Judgment is an agonizing way of expressing flaws, and it causes guilt to consume you and prevents you from experiencing the peace that comes from lovingly accepting what could be better. Shame assesses a person’s character rather than their actions.
Is cruel and destructive: Dwells on what could have been rather than what can be. Judgment tells you it’s either too late or too difficult. Forgiveness and regret are not possible in the face of judgment. Even when forgiveness is all that is required, judgment keeps a tally and demands punishment.
Takes into account you to have already failed: Judgement perceives your current state to be the end. There is no way to get back on track, and that attempting will be futile and ineffective.
Your emotional health and maturity are linked to your level of confidence. It is essential to pay attention to how you speak to yourself in your head. It is a direct reflection of your self-assurance. Congratulations if you lean more toward the constructive criticism end of the spectrum! Stop judging yourself and seek help if you find yourself leaning toward it. You have the ability to alter your thinking and improve your self-talk.
