If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others?
Is it possible to love others if you don’t love yourself? Nope. Similarly, how can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself? You can’t do it. People, unfortunately, do this all the time. They wait to be loved to be validated, and when they don’t feel validated by others, they don’t feel love and, as a result, they don’t love others well.
The example of when you’re in an airplane and the flight attendant instructs you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others is a prime example of why it is critical to love yourself before loving others. You can’t be of service to those who rely on you if you’re not getting enough oxygen. It is difficult for love to flow outward if it is not flowing into your heart!
Loving yourself entails more than thinking you’re beautiful, intelligent, or any other vain way of expressing love. Loving yourself involves much more. Loving yourself entails:
✔ Holding yourself to moral standards
✔ Maintaining your health
✔ Being responsible and dependable
✔ Having healthy boundaries
✔ Having personal preferences
✔ Setting limits
✔ Being forgiving
That is only a partial list of what it means to love yourself. Because it begins within and flows outward, having a healthy relationship with yourself allows you to have a healthy relationship with others. It also provides for self-preservation and protection from unhealthy people who lack love within themselves.
Do you love yourself after hearing this? Do you need to work on an area of self-love and expand a little? That’s fantastic news! All you need is a plan and the willingness to act to build yourself up from within.
Here are my top five ways to nurture and fill your inner spaces with love:
Examine your top five—who are the five people with whom you spend the most time? What are the five most recent books you’ve read? What are your top five ways to recreate? What are your top five favorite foods? Do you see the pattern? The people you spend the most time with and the activities you engage in can impact how much you love yourself. Make sure that each of the five is the best it can be in each situation.
Go on five dates with yourself: Many people find it difficult to imagine doing things alone, and it feels like being a loser to them, especially introverts. Take five dates to magical places by yourself and do whatever your heart desires. This act of self-love will change your perspective and make it extra special when you plan fun times with others.
Take five minutes five times a day: It’s not much time, but giving yourself five minutes of private time five times a day can make a big difference. With children, partners, bosses, clients, and other demands on your time, five minutes can be a power nap, a quick walk, a coffee break, listening to a song or two, or you-time that no one else can invade.
Make a list of five activities: Make a list of five adventures that you’ve been dying to try. Your heart has desires to explore new places and things. Please make a list of five items, and don’t let anything or anyone stop you from checking them off.
Meet five people: We’ve all got people we’d like to meet. Mentorships are something we’d like to have. Our minds get in the way, convincing us that it’s not possible. Yes, it is! One out of every five people you want to connect with will say yes, according to statistics. Once you’ve made the connection and accomplished your goal, the fear of the unknown will vanish, and meeting new people will become easier.
Growing your self-love from within and allowing it to spill over into your relationships is the best way to have healthy and fulfilling relationships. These steps are an excellent way to begin your journey of self-love.
